Leaving behind, carrying forward: A gentler way into the New Year

As 2025 draws to a close, many of us will reflect on what the year has held, what has been hard, what has mattered, and what we might want to do differently as we move forward. This time of year often brings a strong focus on New Year's resolutions; plans to change, improve, or finally “get it right.”

But I don’t think resolutions are supportive or indeed helpful.

For many people, myself included, they feel more like pressure than possibility. Resolutions can quickly turn into a list of things we think we should be doing, rather than a thoughtful reflection on what we actually need. As a psychotherapist, I see how easily this kind of pressure can feed self-criticism, especially for people who are already carrying a lot.

I prefer a quieter, more grounded approach.

Instead of setting resolutions, I focus on what no longer feels helpful in my life, and what feels worth keeping close.

As the new year approaches, it can be helpful to gently reflect on what might be ready to be left behind. This doesn’t have to mean making big declarations or firm promises. Letting go can be very simple: noticing something, naming it, and allowing yourself to consider another way. It might be patterns of thinking that drain my energy, habits that no longer fit, people who leave me feeling drained, or expectations that are too heavy to keep carrying.

At the same time, it’s worth asking what you want to carry forward. You might want to keep the way you’ve learned to be a little kinder to yourself, or the awareness that pushing through isn’t always the answer. It might also be a clearer sense of which relationships support you and which ones ask more than you can reasonably give, along with the understanding of yourself that has come from lived experience; from noticing what helps, what doesn’t, and what matters most to you.

This way of approaching change isn’t about ambition or achievement. It’s about being curious and honest with yourself and responding with care. In therapy, meaningful change usually happens not by pushing harder, but through understanding ourselves better and creating a little more safety in our inner world.

A quiet reflection

So rather than resolutions, I invite you to think about this simple reflection:

What am I leaving behind, and what am I carrying forward?

You might like to explore this quietly, in writing, or in conversation with someone you trust. There’s no rush, and there’s no right answer. Just your own sense of what feels true for you.

And as we step into 2026, I hope that you can do so with steadiness, curiosity, and care; for yourself, and for the life you are shaping in small, ordinary, and meaningful ways.

Go gently!

Dearbhaill