How life’s curveballs affect our nervous system
Last week, what was meant to be a straightforward appointment with our GP for my little girl became an emergency dash to the hospital in an ambulance. It’s the kind of curveball that comes with the territory of being a parent; sudden, uninvited, and deeply unsettling.
In moments like these, time stretches and contracts all at once. There is the sharp shock of fear, the blur of voices and movement, and the heavy uncertainty of not knowing what comes next.
When life takes a sudden turn for any of us, it doesn’t just affect our thoughts or emotions. It lands, quickly and powerfully, in our body; in the nervous system. While emergencies, frightening news, or unexpected changes are part of being human, their suddenness can jolt us out of our sense of safety, and because they arrive without warning, they often overwhelm our usual ways of coping, leaving our body on high alert long after the moment has passed.
When uncertainty takes over
Our nervous system is designed to keep us safe. It is constantly scanning for danger, asking the question: Am I safe right now? When something unexpected or frightening happens, especially involving someone we love, that system moves into high alert.
You might notice:
Your heart racing or chest feeling tight
Shallow or rapid breathing
A sense of being “on edge” or unable to settle
Feeling numb, spaced out, or disconnected
Trouble sleeping, concentrating, or switching off
These are signs that your nervous system is doing exactly what it is designed to do: protect.
In moments of crisis or uncertainty, our body often reacts faster than our mind. Even when things later stabilise, our nervous system may stay braced, as if the threat could return at any moment.
The body remembers sudden shocks
Events like medical emergencies, accidents, unexpected losses, or sudden changes can feel like the ground disappearing beneath us. Even if the outcome is ultimately ok, the experience itself can leave an imprint.
This is why people often say things like:
“I don’t know why I’m still so jumpy.”
“I feel exhausted, even though the crisis has passed.”
“I can’t relax, it’s like my body won’t let me.”
Our nervous system doesn’t work on logic or timelines. It works on felt safety. And after a shock, safety has to be gently re-established.
Why we don’t feel like ourselves straight away
After a curveball, many people expect to bounce back once things return to normal. But the body may still be carrying the memory of fear and uncertainty.
You might notice irritability, tearfulness, hyper-vigilance, or a need to control things more tightly. Others feel the opposite: flat, detached, or unusually tired. These are all common responses when the nervous system has been pushed outside its usual window of tolerance.
Importantly, this doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It simply means something happened.
What helps a nervous system settle again
There are gentle ways to support the body as it recalibrates.
1. Slow, steady reassurance
Safety is restored through repeated, small signals: a calm voice, predictable routines, moments of rest. The nervous system needs to feel that the danger has passed, not just be told.
2. Grounding in the present
Simple practices like feeling your feet on the floor, noticing your breath, or naming what you can see and hear around you can help bring the body out of threat mode and back into the here and now.
3. Allowing the reaction
Trying to “be fine” too quickly can keep our system stuck. Giving yourself permission to feel shaken, tired, or emotional can actually help things move through more naturally.
4. Connection
Safe connection with others is one of the most powerful regulators of the nervous system. Being listened to, believed, and supported matters deeply.
A final thought
Life doesn’t always give us a warning. Sometimes the curveballs come out of nowhere, shaking our sense of predictability and control. If you find yourself feeling different after such an experience, please remember this: your response makes sense.
Our nervous system is wise, protective, and deeply human. With time, care, and support, it will soften again.
And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is to give ourselves the same compassion and gentleness we would offer a frightened child in the back of an ambulance; steady presence, gentle reassurance, and the reminder that we don’t have to carry it on our own.
Go gently,
Dearbhaill
