“I don’t know if Therapy is working”.
This comes up more often than people think. And I’ll be honest, I’ve had times in my own therapy where I felt it too.
There were sessions where I walked out wondering what the point was. Times when I felt nothing had shifted. Weeks where the work felt uncomfortable, slow, or just… flat. I remember thinking, “Is this genuinely helping, or am I just talking in circles?” Other weeks felt raw, like something old had been stirred up, and I wasn’t sure why I’d willingly signed up for it.
Here’s what I’ve learned, though, both as a client and a therapist:
Therapy isn’t meant to feel good all the time.
And it won’t deliver neat, obvious progress every week.
Sometimes the work is quiet.
Sometimes it’s heavy.
Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening until, suddenly, something is.
But the doubts you experience usually mean you’re being honest with yourself.
Here are a few things worth holding onto when it comes to therapy:
It’s normal to question the process.
Feeling unsure or stuck doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working.
Feeling uncomfortable or unsettled doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It’s generally a sign you’re touching on something important.
You’re allowed to tell your therapist, “I’m not sure what’s happening here, but I don’t think it’s working.” In fact, this is part of the work and being able to share this is an important step in the therapeutic relationship.
And if something genuinely isn’t landing, whether that’s the approach, the pace, or perhaps the fit, please don’t be worried about saying that out loud too. I’ve had those conversations with my own therapist and felt so relieved that the truth was spoken aloud. These revelations didn’t derail our work. They actually opened space for curiosity rather than pressure. They gave me room to look at what was stuck, what was stirring, and what I was expecting therapy to feel like.
You don’t need to pretend therapy feels amazing or profound every week. Most people don’t experience it that way.
You need enough space and honesty to explore what’s coming up, even when what’s coming up is doubt.
If you’re questioning the process, let that be part of the conversation, because it’s what keeps it aligned with what you really need (from the sessions AND your therapist).
I hope this helps!
